I have decided to make a checklist of sorts in order to organize my goals more clearly. I have been living in a hazy state since I graduated. I've felt stagnant but helpless to move forward, hindered by lack of finances or courage. Mom says I have a self defeating personality (doesn't everyone?), so I need to step back when I feel overwhelmed or beaten and decide if I really don't have what it takes or if it's just my mind saying so.
I'd like to go to graduate school at some point before I am 25 or 26.
I would like to obtain this degree from the University of Washington.
I would either want a degree in Human Paleontology, Comparative Literature, English, or Linguistics. I'm not going to be picky about this, seeing as I would enjoy a career in either of these subjects. Also, I am fairly competent in all of them.
See mom? I'm being more positive already.
So.
I need to take the GRE, either here in San Francisco or Seattle. I need to get study books and USE THEM. I need to be serious about this and not just give up because I somehow foresee failure. I can't fail before I even try.
I need to work consistently and save up money so that when I do move, I can have money to fall back on. Look into getting a second job.
Already this sounds so mundane, so everyday. People do this regularly without making listed blog entries--why do I need to do this? Anyway.
Second job. GRE studying and taking seriously. Applying like crazy. Getting more recommendations from professors on UW's pre-approved reference form.
Go to the Bar Method at least 4 times a week. This has nothing to do with grad school, but I think if I worked out and felt better about myself physically, I wouldn't be nearly as hard on myself as I am everyday.
On that note, get a frick'n hobby. Cross stitch, paint, take up the piano again, look up acting studios or SF women's soccer leagues. DO SOMETHING FUN. Sitting in my house all day browsing Netflix or reading for hours and hours is not that fun.
I can do this.
2 comments:
i have a self defeating attitude too. i can't help it, it's who i am.
it's so i don't get dissapointed. the glass is less then half full.
don't get discouraged. enjoy the classes your taking and plan all the things you can do when you get to washington. see i said WHEN you get there. i know you'll get up there. bersh
Good job Meghan! Now you have something to work towards. You can't live your life thinking you will never succeed because that isn't living.
you can do anything you put your mind to and with effort. it's hard work but not impossible.
Heather-Your statement makes me sad. If you don't expect good things to happen, then they never will because the only way they happen is to make them happen. You can't wait for good things to come to you. You have to work to get them. Be grateful for the good things in your life and go do something positive in your life!
I love you both very much and want you to be happy but you have to work at it.
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